This spirit writing came at a time when my 14 year old began to pull away and live with his dad. For weeks I felt anger, guilt, sadness, and decided to sit down, bring in my higher guides and write.
He is broody, this is true. But in this very way so are you. He is inner, you are outer and this is all a balancing act. You both are playing in the age-old game. The trick is not to look down or all around and definitely don’t look back. That’s the easiest way to fall. For there will be regrets galore for why did you do that? Why didn’t I do this? See, there you go already thinking of it all.
Yes, we all screw up in some shape or form and then you look at your creation, your baby, and you must simply see yourself. See your whole self in him as he breaks through the entrapment to break free and find Him Self. This is a painstakingly hard process for a boy coming of age, especially one whose mother is, has been, overbearing, over-controlling, over the top too much.
Breathe that in and know that these words come with love attached for you also experienced such a mother and are still in the process of breaking free. Broke free, as we see it from here. So, honor his process and acknowledge him as him with a life and a mind that is all his own. Not yours.
The only thing that’s yours out of all this is your son all grown up who goes by the name of Benjamin. Be proud of him and who he is no matter who he shall become. For he will strive to be in your eyes and if you see him and acknowledge him he will flourish. For this is what we all want whether by our mother, father, big sister, little brother, or lover, friend, wife, husband, teacher, or preacher. It’s just how it is.
Our longing to be recognized as a valid, real person with dreams and excitements. Sometimes we do go through times in our life when the need for this validation is bigger. He is here now in such a space. Flailing a bit for what is no longer and a bit trapped in his own mind with anxieties and fears and no friend to show. For this is what friends do. They see you.
He saw a friend in his absent dad and this is true but as time goes by, and it already has, his dad will transform into the dad he ‘should’ have been all along. For if he had, (been that dad), Ben would be, as would you, in a whole different space in time and place. So give yourself some credit and cut yourself some slack. You did what you did for reasons all your own.
Part of being a parent is to do the best you can, don’t look back, and keep up pace with your child(ren) so that you can keep up with where they’re going in life and acknowledge them here and there along the way. Not hand in hand or arm in arm but step by step and round you go.
This is the process. Have fun.
Try spirit writing out for yourself; It’s an uplifting way to bring understanding to an issue that you would like deeper insight into. If you feel daunted, try your hand at a 10-minute writing and ease in that way. If you have a writing that you would like to share here, please send in word.docx ✨
May all bellies be happy!